I’ve lost my love

I’ve lost my love.  He has gone to heaven way too soon.  It’s been a little over a month since our lives were forever changed.  We went to sleep together and only I awoke the next morning.  I want to forever remember that he loved me.  That he was right next to me when God called him.  I want to be comforted by that.  Although at this moment all I feel is lost.  All I feel is devastated.  How do I go on from here?  Where do I go on from here?  I felt like we were finally figuring it all out.  We were just starting to live in his dream home together all together.  We only had 11 years together, it’s just not enough time.  I want more.


He was thrilled beyond words at becoming a grandfather.  Damon was the light of his life.  Along with being the only father my daughter has known.  He relished becoming a granddad.  He took on the roll of father to my daughter since the time she was 9 years old.  And even when he and I stumbled, he never once forgot to be her doting dad.  I will never get the chance to thank him.  I mean I did but just not enough.  He had asked me over and over to adopt her and I didn’t do it.  I just assumed we would marry and after that we would get it done.  Now we will never have that chance.  Our time is gone.  Why did I just assume we had forever?


He was only 37 years old.  I just assumed we had so much more time.  I don’t know why this has happened.  I have no answers to so many questions.  Even when the autopsy report does come back what good will that do.  It’s just too late to change anything.

Our life is shattered and we must now pick up the pieces.

Stay tunned…  xoxo ARod

ps – see my Links party page for where I party & share my projects

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25 Responses

  1. Carolann says:

    Words can’t express how sorry I am for your loss Anj. As you know, having the love and support of those who love you will help you and your family into recovery. Thoughts and prayers are with you all every day <3

  2. Sue says:

    I am devastated this has happened and think of you and your family everyday. Thank you for sharing this very heartfelt tribute to Tommy and your life together with him.

  3. I am so deeply sorry for your unbelievable loss… and for the difficult changes.
    He was a special man to a very special woman; that will never change.
    I’m sure the healing will take your lifetime but the memories will be treasured enough to give you the strength to go on. Prayers and thoughts to you and your wonderful family, Anj.

  4. Divapinks says:

    Omg. I am so very sorry for your loss. There is never the right thing to hear or say when you have lost someone but all I can say is that it’s ok to cry til you run out of tears. It is ok to be angry. It is only after we release it all that we start to heal. My deepest prayers are with you and your family. I’m so sorry for your loss..

  5. Echo says:

    I am so sorry. I can only imagine what you and your family are dealing with. You are in my thoughts.

  6. You know how I feel and that I’m here for you. This is a great post and one from the heart. I am sure this had to make you feel better being able to write out your feelings and express it to the world at once. You know I love you and am here if you need me.

  7. Grace says:

    My love and prayer goes out to you and your family. So happy to have met you and have you in my life. I will always be here for you. Love ya

  8. Elena says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I will be keeping your family in my thoughts.

  9. My heart and prayers are with you! I can’t imagine what you and your family is going through, but I do know that you have lots of love around you. It’s ok to ask those questions, its ok to feel what ever it is your feeling every day.You will find a way to heal in your own time, when you are ready. xoxo lots of love to you my friend!

  10. Nicole P says:

    Wow. I am new here but I am so very sorry for you loss. May you be comforted by the good memories and love of your family and friends.

  11. Jamille says:

    im sorry Anj.. So so sorry for your loss. tommy loved you , and he loved Jaimie and Damon. Try to find comfort in knowing he ❤️

  12. Kathe says:

    I am sending you a loving hug dear friend. I am so sorry to hear of this. I always enjoyed your photos together and when your grandson arrived, I saw a man that loved a little boy to the moon & back. May your memories and love help you through this difficult time. Love and another hug my blogging friend.

  13. My prayers are with you. We never know what God has in store, and we have to keep the faith. I’m so glad the time you had together were such a sweet and loving blessing. Keep your faith strong, and it’s ok to keep shedding those tears of love.

  14. Suzanne says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your words tell the story of a beautiful man and a wonderful life you had together. Sending prayers for the days ahead and beyond. May Gods healing hands touch your heart and ease your pain.
    Warm Hugs,
    Pieced Pastimes